The Oak Tree

Oh my dear blog...
I owe you so much more than I can give right now.
I promise tomorrow to update on all of life's adventures, but until then here is some food for thought.
Tonight Elder Ballard gave an incredible talk. He quoted a poem at the end and this was my favorite part:

The Oak Tree
by Johnny Ray Ryder Jr.

A mighty wind blew night and day.
It stole the Oak Tree's leaves away.
Then snapped its boughs
and pulled its bark
until the Oak was tired and stark.

But still the Oak Tree held its ground
while other trees fell all around.
The weary wind gave up and spoke,
"How can you still be standing Oak?"

The Oak Tree said, I know that you
can break each branch of mine in two,
carry every leaf away,
shake my limbs and make me sway.

But I have roots stretched in the earth,
growing stronger since my birth.
You'll never touch them, for you see
they are the deepest part of me.

Until today, I wasn't sure
of just how much I could endure.
But now I've found with thanks to you,
I'm stronger than I ever knew.

Four weeks in...

Oh goodness it's been a while. Let's see life is:

School
School
School
Play with friends
School
and
School

BUT...

I have some wonderful girls in my major that I get to see everyday, so school can be quite fun. Filled with laughter and stories about boys ;)

Let's hit the highlights
- I'm FHE mom
- My dad visited this past weekend, I got to see him for all of five hours, but it was enjoyable
- I have wonderful roommates
- I have amazing friends, both old and new
- I'm somehow able to juggle 18 credits and not cry (but I am rather exhausted most days)
- I'm not sick anymore!
- I found out I will be student teaching for the third grade for a month starting October 26th, I'm VERY excited! My mentor teacher is my mom Mary's sister. So it should be a lot of fun to work with her in Provo.
- In all my classes I learn everyday how to be a better: teacher, mother, and person. It's amazing how much I've been able to grow in these last four weeks.
- I'm doing better at exercising and reading my scriptures.
- Bones is back! (My favorite show)

Life is good. Heavenly Father is great. I can't wait for General Conference this weekend.

Oh and i love my family, they're the greatest.

Today I was lunching with Karissa and we were standing in line.

I made a fool of myself. It's one of those have to be there or you wouldn't find it funny, but for Karissa I had to post to the world and say

"NAVAJO!" [insert Janelle's opera voice here]

love you beautiful girl.

jason reeves.

So yesterday my beautiful friend ashley texted me and asked if i wanted to go with her to see jason reeves.

i was exstatic! i've been listening to his music since high school. it just makes you happy.

if you don't know who he is go find him on itunes or youtube. actually here he is.



i just love him. he was amazing live. we (ashley, stacy, and libby) were right in front and just got lost in all the beautiful music. it was incredible. and then after the show we got to meet him and he signed shirts and stickers and such. pictures will be on facebook. basically it was incredible and now i can't wait for his new album in january.

love from p-town,

j

And it begins again...

Ok, i'm offically one of the worst bloggers but once you understand what I've been attempting to do you will understand.

I'm officially back in Provo and a week and a half into my junior year of college. I have begun my first cohort for the El Ed program and am taking 18 credits. Yes, i did just say 18 credits. i know i'm crazy. School is INSANE! I start class at either 8 or 7:30 every morning (if you know me you know i'm not exactly a morning person) i thank my summer job for having me be at work at 8 every day this summer, it sort of prepared me.

So basically my life has been trying to find some sort of balance in this insanity. I've had so many assignments, and i'm trying to find time to do homework, go to the gym, play, relax, eat and sleep. Something has got to give eventually but until then we'll just keep powering through!

I am back with my same wonderful roommates (Becca, Brooke, Talia, Hannah and Karen) living in the colony. It is a really fun place to live with lots of great people. We also have some of our close friends from last year here which makes it even more enjoyable.

Life is life...Sorry i'm not more interesting or insightful. Oh here's something cool, for one of my classes i've had to keep a gratitude journal everyday. I write at least three, i usually have more, things i'm grateful for. I've found this has been quite theraputic and is helping me to see all that the Lord blesses me with. If anyone is having a bad day, i reccommend it. It will help the soul.

I've also made a personal goal. Finish the Book of Mormon by the end of the year. If i read about 4 pages a day I should be done in time.

I have also been trying to be a better journal writer.

New year new me.

love from provo,

j

I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines, and sing out loud in the car with the windows open, and wear pink shoes, and stay up all night laughing, and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties, and eat ripe tomatoes, and read books so good they make me jump up and down. – shauna niequist

still alive i promise

working hard.
playing with best friends.
reading good books.
loving the sunshine and sun dresses.
my family is the best.
good movies make me happy.
seeing summer go by so fast :(

but, life is good.

bucket list.

fall in love.
get married.
have children.
finish college.
teach.
lie on a beach in greece.
go to south america.
swim with dolphins.
draw/paint a picture of christ.
buy an amazing dress just because.
sing karaoke.
finish "the list".
be in the temple with my entire family.

sweet summertime!

So i've probably become the worst blogger on the planet, so much to catch up on...

1. The semester ended! Yeah! I made it! (It's been about three weeks and it feels like three months since i've been in school! haha) Not only did the semester end, but it ended with my highest GPA ever at BYU, i was very proud of myself!

2. I'm at home again and having fun playing with my family.

3. Blake was baptized! If you know me at all you know i ADORE my little brother. Because he is 12 years younger than me i'm more of a second mom than a sister. So to watch the little man grow up and turn 8 and be baptized and become an official member of the church was such an emotional thing for my family and i. It was such a beautiful day and the spirit was so strong. It was wonderful to be surrounded by family and friends who all loved Blake and were there to support him. It was a wonderful day for my family to just be together.

Shelby, Me, Lori (Mom), Michael (Dad), Blake, and Marissa

4. I made a list of summer goals for myself. I've officially completed one - learn how to make banana bread- and am half way done with another one of my goals (complete two quilts) well technically i've finished the tops if two of them and now just need to quilt them and bind them. Here is one of them:



5. I started my job part time nannying for two spirited, crazy, yet adorable little girls. They're a little crazy but i'm starting to love them. I've been blessed with a lot of work, which means making money, since i've been home and i am very greatful for that.

6. Today i found out that i received a scholarship that i had applied for, so for the first time i finally get some money towards my college education, very nice!

7. I've had so much fun playing with my best friends. Alex and i are together for the whole summer and i couldn't be more thrilled! We just shop and talk and play and have so much fun! i've missed having her in my life everyday.
Also John Dana just got home! i forgot how much i've missed his cute face and playing with him! I was able to help his mom make a scavenger hunt for him to find the new car his mom got him. It was so much fun to run around danville with him and his momma.

All in all life has been pretty good. its had its ups and downs lately and its really confusing moments, but hey, that's life right?

winding down

7 finals down
1 more to go
started packing up the room.
:(

don't get me wrong i'm excited to go home, but leaving is always hard. my mom and i were talking yesterday and this is what she said to me, "you're halfway done with college". i was stunned to silence for a minute. i've been in school my whole life. twenty years and i've always been in school (well i guess like 16 years of school, those first few years were solely dedicated to playing). in one year i'll be teaching and in my senior year of college and then i will graduate....and get a job...and be like a real life grown-up....that kind of scares me. i've always been a planner and have been one who always worked to achieve my dreams, but my dreams and their benchmarks always were focused on school.
For example:
finish high school with a high GPA: check
get into BYU: check
get into the El Ed program: check
....
what comes next
finish and become a teacher: this one is coming faster then i even realize. my dad always said to me that as he's gotten older the years in his life fly by faster and faster. i'm feeling this the older i get, people come and go, school years (though it doesn't seem like it sometimes) fly by...

now i'm on to my summer adventure: nannying.
i was going to stay spring but then my job started the first week of may. so home i go to move back into my room. for some reason i'm nervous about going home. i want to have fun, to enjoy myself, i didn't really have a lot of fun with friends last summer, i mostly worked and played with my mom. which don't get me wrong, it was wonderful, but i want to enjoy these next four months not just go through the motions. i also know that that will be determined by me and my attitude. i also want to be a better big sister. everytime i see my siblings it amazes my how big they have gotten. they are just growing up so fast and everytime i see them i just want to say "stop that!". Shelby is turning 13 this summer, THIRTEEN! she'll be a teenager! so strange, marissa is now 11 (and acts like a teenager) and my little dude, my baby, he's turning 8 in a few short weeks and getting baptized. i can't even believe how old my little family is getting. i know that i need to take this summer and become a better sister and friend. i've always been tight with my parents, but not so much my siblings. i've always blamed the huge age difference between us, but as they get older and mature that's not much of an excuse.

only four more days left till california sunshine and summertime

love from provo,

j

finals.

art: check
exercise science: check
dance: check

3 down...5 to go...
shouldn't be too bad.
what's the best way to study? go shopping at target and buy a cute new dress and high heels :)

only seven days till california sunshine and summertime.

j

MaRcH mAdNeSs....

Well, i feel like this is going to start the way all my posts do...life has been crazy! But i'm enjoying every minute of it.

1. first off, i was assigned my school district for next year, and i will be teaching in the distant land of Provo, UT....haha i was actually excited to be assigned to stay in provo because i'll be close and able to make it back in time for the extra classes i'm going to have to take. My schedule and life are stressing me out, but i know i can do it. i just need to stay focused.

2. This weekend was so much fun! it started on Friday withmy roommate Karen's 20th birthday. Being from Honduras she had never been to the Cheesecake factory and desperately wanted to go. We suprised her friday night and brought her up to Murray so she could go. it was a lot of fun!

Our lovely waiter took this apartment picture for us


Me, Brooke, and Becca

This is my favorite picture of the night. The birthday girl and I!

3. The next day, so Saturday (3/27) we attended, like most of provo, the festival of colors. Its this crazy festival held at the hari krishna temple. basically thousands of people get together and throw tons of colored powder (its actually made from cornstarch) into the air and on each other. it was a lot of fun and we were so colorful

Ok, so this would be Karen and i on the walk to the temple, looking very clean and white


Josh, me, Brooke - this was when we started throwing colors - very fun!


For some reason blogger does not like my pictures and they're not as vivid as they are on my computer, but what can you do...Karen and I


A bunch of us after the huge color cloud that left you mostly brown

Basically this weekend was full of playtime and not much homework time, but it was worth it.

4. Alex (my best friend from home) moved to utah for this next month. i'm so happy she's here before we seperate for the summer. it'll be great to spend some quality time with her!

love from provo,

j

Dear Blog,

Dear blog,

sorry its been 20 days since we've seen each other. i have so much to tell you, but alas it is 12:35 am and i have class tomorrow morning. i promise we will meet soon, possibly tomorrow and i will catch you up on all my fun adventures, mostly from this last weekend.

Love,

J

home.

oh i forgot one thing!

i went home! it was amazing, nothing too exciting, just what i needed, a break from life. i'll just share my favorite memory, its actually one of my favorite life memories now. so my siblings didn't know i was coming home, it was a surprise. so my dad had them all go into our family room while i hid in the kitchen, he then went on to say he knew they were home alone and couldn't believe what they had done. they were very confused and kept saying "what did we do?" he replied "you want me to show you what you did?" he then grabbed me and brought me into the room. it was so funny to just see this look of shock and confusion on their faces. then Marissa screamed and ran for me, followed by Blake and then Shelby. they all were squeezing me so tight and then they started crying, and i started crying. it was incredible.

it was one of those moments in life that doesn't come by often, but you know its special right as its happening, you know its going to stay with you forever. in that moment i'd never felt more loved and missed in my life.

thinking about it now still makes me smile

i love my family :)

insanity.

i realized its been a while since i wrote and figured it was time to change that.

life has been INSANE!

and that's not an exaggeration. I'm going five hundred different ways five hundred miles an hour. I honestly don't know how i'm able to get through the day and get everything done, but somehow i pull through.

the other day i was feeling really down on myself. i was stressed out by all the things i needed to get done and not having enough time to do it and i was just bummed out on my life in general. i wanted to go run and hide and come out in 42 days when it is time for summer. I woke up the next morning and the beautiful sun was shining, my teachers were beyond flexible with all my life stressing, and everything is just seeming to fall into place. it amazes me how mindful the Lord is of me. i know he is allowing me to be pushed and tested, but at the moment of my weakness he's right there to catch me and make sure that i make it through all right. i'm so grateful to have the knowledge i do, that i know i have a loving Heavenly Father who allows me to be pushed so i can grow, but who is always there to catch me when i fall.

other wonderful moments of my week:
- i got a 3 1/2 page hand written letter from my friend Justin whose on a mission and it made me smile. i've loved watching him grow throughout this last year and a half and cannot believe he's coming home in six short months.
- i was able to talk to john dana for over an hour, he always makes me happy
- this hasn't happened yet, but tomorrow is my first official day in the classroom teaching, don't tell, but i'm terrified...but excited. it should be good :)
- i almost finished my quote journal, if you know me you know i LOVE quotes, i collect them like no body's business and put them in journals that i keep and read when i'm sad or happy or whatever, i love finding ways to say the things i am thinking when i can't even seem to find the words
- i love text messages and facebook posts from friends that just remind you how much they love you
- most importantly, i've been having lessons in learning about my own personal worth. lately i've been having issues with not feeling good enough and i've noticed when i'm having these tough times i'm blessed with so many differed answers and reaffirmations of my own personal worth.


random side note: i CANNOT believe i'm almost half way through college...how did that happen?

2-24-10

Well, its been a couple weeks since i wrote my life lesson blog and i figured it was time to prove i'm doing just fine :) Sure its been hard, and i do have my good and bad days, but moving on and learning from the experience has been refreshing.

life has been crazy busy like usual, i've been throwing myself into school and art which has been good for my soul.

most important: i'm currently sitting in the salt lake city airport cause get this, I'M ON MY WAY HOME! when everything happened a couple weeks ago my momma asked me if i wanted to come home and i said of course! i was going to go home that weekend, but things didn't work out as nicely as they did if i went this weekend. so here i am sitting and waiting and more than overjoyed that i get to see my mommy and daddy in a couple hours. my siblings don't know i'm coming home either so its going to be fun to suprise them :)
i adore my family so much. they are the greatest. i mean they let me escape when i have a life crisis, granted i'm over said crisis cause i've realized i deserve so much better and i will get it one day, but they let me come home anyway!

Things i'm looking forward to:
1. hugs from mom and dad and dude (aka. Blake)
2. playing games with my family
3. being back in danville, i swear it is my favorite place in the entire world
4. resting from life
5. sleeping in my own bed again
6. everything else i can't think of :)

oh so good news, while i'm home i'm meeting this woman who i might nanny for this summer. she has already offered me a great job because she has heard about me from other people and knows my mom, but i would watch her two girls ages 4 and 6 all summer for 40 hours a week and be paid nicely. i'm really excited to meet her and her kids and i'm hoping this will all work out because it would truly be a blessing for me to find a job making the kind of money i need to make for school next year.

time to board!

j

life lesson.

I learned a lesson today.

In life you'll experience heartbreak. People will not treat you the way you deserve, they'll lead you on and hurt your heart, but you know what, life goes on. If you're lucky, like me, you have wonderful friends who love you, and tell you how wonderful you are and how stupid that boy is, and be willing to go kick his butt. Heavenly Father is truly mindful of me through my trials, and i'm so thankful for that knowledges and for music that says the things i'm thinking.
current song on repeat: First Time For Everything, it says a lot of the things i've been thinking
I love music, it says the words i cannot.

I'm standing in the place we met
Heart shakes, and then I sweat
It's so hard to see that it's all over

What did I do to make this end?
And could I really be your friend?
I can barely just pretend it's over

I'm standing in the place we first kissed
There's so much I miss
This I can't resist cause I'm all over
Where we took our first photograph,
And where I first held your hand and laughed
Awkward moments like that have passed, it's over

(bridge)
You're fine and I believe it
I'm something you never needed
I can't say the same for you

(chorus)
But there's a first time for everything
And I'll fall in love again
When I begin my second time around
It's the last time I'll think of you
You can do what you'd like to do
But if you only knew I'm never coming back

I'm standing in the place we first said goodbye
I don't know why, I so relied on you for my smile
I laid happiness in your hands
And I don't really understand
The cost was more than I could stand
It was miles wide

Love from Provo,

J

ugh.

maybe its the winter but i'm:
stressed out. drained. tired. on an emotional roller coaster with too many highs and lows. confused. frustrated. missing my family. but not wanting to change a single moment.
life is insane right now, trying to get everything done while still trying to "have fun and not over think my life" is quite a difficult task.
to sum up: college is hard.
but i'm blessed and i know it.
and i can draw to de-stress, no worries we'll pull through

story of my life

Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past
stop planning the future,
stop figuring out precisely how we feel,
stop deciding exactly what we want,
and just live.

2010....

cannot believe it is already 2010! well it has been a while since i last posted, about when i went home and figured it was time to play catch up.

10 best things about being home for the holidays (in no special order)

1. I was back in Danville
2. the sunshine
3. Blake, Shelby, Marissa, Lori and Michael
4. playing with John
5. learning to crochet from grandma and rediscovering my love for painting
6. CHRISTMAS!!!!
7. relaxing, playing with mom, watching way too many movies
8. shopping
9. going to shelter cove with Alex
10. sleeping in my own bedroom every night and hearing everyday how much i was loved















Now i'm back in provo, have been for about four days now, and have started a new semester. i started my major and it has been so much fun. there is a lot of work and demands on my time, but i am loving it. i love being in class and seeing how it is actually applicable to what i want to do with the rest of my life.
For some crazy reason i decided it would be a good idea to take 17 credits this semester...we'll see if i survive. my schedule goes something like this...
Monday:
12-2: Math Education 305 - hasn't been too hard yet, but there is lots of homework and stuff to read
2-4: Drama in the Elementary Classroom - this class has a lot of reading and projects, but so far it has been good. it just drags on forever because i'm not used to having to be in a class for two hours!
Tuesday:
12-1: New Testament - love love love, i love my teacher and i love learning about the gospel
1-2: Music - my teacher reminds me of a kindergarten teacher which is kind of fitting i guess, the class has been ok, we had to record ourselves singing on a casette tape for her to listen to which i thought was a little weird...
2-3: LDS Marriage and Family - i really love this class! my professor is in the general sunday school presidency which is way cool. more importantly he is an amazing teacher and so far i've loved the readings we've had.
(only on Tuesday) 5-7:30: Rhythm and Dance - this class requires that you let all embarassment go, it was hilarious, we were jumping around all over the place and i'm sure i looked like a fool but it was funny.
Wednesday:
repeat Monday
Thursday:
repeat Tuesday
Friday:
tomorrow i have my visual arts education class and i am so excited. if you know me, visual arts is my thing. i would do that all day if i could. i'm pumped.

so yeah life has been good, its been good to see friends again and remember why i've been working so hard the last three semesters and that eventually it'll all be worth it.

love from provo,

j

ps: new year's resolutions to come, i'm still working on them :)