Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Pool side

Nothing beats sitting outside in the sunshine by the pool.
Hello summer.
Hello tan lines.
I've missed you.

Hawaii bound in four days.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

School's Out for Summer!

You know it is bad when the last time you posted on your blog was in February....embarrassing.

Ok well let's play catch up shall we...

1. I graduated from college.

1.5 I was hired to teach at Amelia Earhart Elementary School here in Provo next year. I will be teaching 1st grade. (My first reaction to making this decision = ahhhhhhudisiuwipwu!!!!! A few days later I was at peace again)

As of graduation day I had three different offers for different teaching positions. I was miserable. Looking back I feel so blessed that I had choices when so many people do not. The only problem with choice is that it forces you to make a decision, which I do not like to do. I would pray and pray and I just felt like there was no right decision. Heavenly Father trusted me to make the choice for myself. Sometimes I forget that I was given agency to choose. Heavenly Father isn't just going to give you the answers. He expects you to get up off your butt and do something about it. He wants you to study things out, pray, and make the best decision you can. Once you do then he will step in and either confirm that decision in your heart or it will not feel right.

Deciding to teach 1st grade was light stepping off a cliff in my mind. I didn't quite know why I was making that decision. It came about 5 minutes before the decision deadline while I was on the phone in tears with my mom. (Shout out to that wonderful woman who continues to put up with me and all my crazy). So anyway I chose 1st grade and walked away still not feeling like Yes this is it! It took a little time, a little thought, a little pinteresting for me to become very excited about this new path I have chosen.

Extra bonus: This lady will be teaching there too! (In 6th grade) I don't have to say goodbye to the wonderful Miss Smith just yet. She has helped me conquer this year. I don't think I could have made it through my internship without her. Not only did I spend most of my time with her, she was the only other person in this world who knew exactly how I was feeling about every situation. What a blessing she has been every day.


2. Ashley got married and the besties reunited. Minus Karissa who is on her mission. Ashley married the boy she fell in love with freshman year. We were all there. We saw it all. We're glad Derek finally realized how wonderful she is and decided to be with her forever :)
3. I officially finished my first year as a teacher.

It is so weird to think that I am done. What is weirder is that I may never see any of this wonderful kids again. It makes me cry.
The last day of school was a weird experience. I woke up Friday morning thinking about the first day of school. I couldn't sleep the night before, I was so nervous. I remember sitting in my classroom, well pacing in my classroom, so nervous about what was ahead. I had heard that some teachers say a prayer for their class. A teacher's prayer if you will. I love prayer and couldn't think of a better way to calm my nerves. I prayed that I could be an example to them. That I could teach them what they needed to know. Not just in reading or math but in life. I prayed that I could develop good relationships with them and that I could love each of them.

Well this year was amazing. It truly was. This was my thought waking up Friday morning: Such a bittersweet day. I'm looking forward to summer and next year with all it's new adventures but my goodness how I'll miss these kids. They were my first loves. I don't think any group will be as special to me as these ones.

About an hour before they were out for the summer I sat all of them down in my now empty classroom (we had been packing and moving) and read them each a short letter I had written them on a bookmark. Wow, I honestly didn't think I was going to cry but about 3 bookmarks in I was in tears. My kids have never seen me cry. All they could do was sit there and tell me it was going to be ok. I was a wreck. I was overcome with so much love for each of them. In all their own ways they are such creative, wonderful people with so much potential in life.

Saying goodbye was hard. I told them all they had to hug me. And boy did they. I've never been squeezed so hard. But boy it was great. They all started leaving when suddenly one of my cute girls reappeared in my room. She looked at me and told me she needed one more hug.
Que my water works, I mean come on. Stop. They're killing me.

Then, next thing I knew I was all alone in my room. No kids, no stuff just me.
Wow.
I did it.
It's over.
Wow.

At this point I had to go hug Megan for a minute to just get my bearings again.

I finished packing and went to turn in my keys. To officially leave Westridge.
Que water works again.
It was bad. I was a little emotional.

But, I moved my stuff into my new classroom at Amelia and so when I get back in August I'll just have to set everything up.

Nice.

I spent yesterday with the bestest bud. Its been nice to reconnect with her again.
While we were eating dinner I wanted to show her a picture of one of my students so I pulled out my yearbook. I hadn't looked at it yet and I flipped to one of the autograph pages and there it was (in his neatest handwriting because we've fought about it all year):

Miss Webb,
 Thank you for such a wonderful year this has been the best year yet
From,
____

I don't want to write his name due to privacy reasons, but let's revisit this post.
See where it says Day 2: Hard. It use to say more before I deleted it for a variety of reasons.
Basically the student above blew up on me day 2. When he wasn't around I cried. He made my life very hard the entire year. It took me months to learn to rise above. To learn that I was the adult and I needed to act like it. Our relationship got better throughout the year, but he was still difficult.
Here's the kicker, I know he loves me. Through all the garbage at the end of the day I learned he loved me. I gave him his best year yet. What more could  ask for? I made a difference to him. At the end of the day that is all that matters as a teacher.

Que water works at the kitchen table.
I am one blessed girl.

Love,
J

PS: I was listening to my roommates talk tonight about past relationships and I realized that I am the only one (out of the three years we've lived together) who has never had a serious relationship.
Embarrassing.
BUT, its OKAY!
Cause if I've learned anything this year it is that I do not need a man to make me happy. I am so much more than that. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be in a relationship, but that is not the most important thing. I have so many blessings. I love my profession. I love my friends. I love my family.