Stuck in a Rut

so lately i feel like i'm stuck in a rut. i feel like all i do is work and then come home, possibly hang with the fam (if they are even here, we all go 500 different ways all the time) or i'm off babysitting for another family. i mean, i cannot say that i am ungrateful, i am making money for school which was one of my main goals when i came home this summer. but i can't help but feel like i am missing out on something. last summer was full of work, but also full of fun. maybe its cause i've been to a year of college and now most the boys my age have left for their missions...and my friends are, like me, working and trying to be with their families. but i don't know, i feel like i'm never having fun anymore, which is totally lame! i've tried talking to mom and dad about this, but they just keep telling me "welcome to being an adult" (if this is true i'm flying to never never land because i don't want to grow up!) all joking aside i know adults have fun, but i don't feel like i'm enjoying and appreciating my time here. i only have about 27 days i think at home before i fly to tennesse for the wedding and then to utah for school. 27 days left to try and have the best summer i can possibly have! crazy

i mean i have had some amazing nights and moments. dinner and a movie with john dana and joyce (his momma) is always a treat, courtney coming over for bones marathons and snacks, spending time laughing so hard it hurts with my bestest friend ever alex (including when she my mom and i went to wicked for my b-day), and having fun with my momma have made for some amazing times this summer, but overall i feel like i'm stuck in a rut and not sure how to get myself out.
but (of course there's another "but") i know that sooner then i think i will be back in utah complaining about school, friends and boys (or the lack there of). school in general is going to be another chage that i'm worried for. i mean yes i did make it through the first year with some of the most amazing friends one could ever hope for, but next year i won't have them as constantly in my life as i did this last year, and i have to apply for the teaching program....ah just thinking about my future makes me nervous. i HATE change i've gotten better, but once i get into a comfotable routine i like to stay that way and i can totally see myself wishing i was back at home safe in my room in my bed with my family who loves me.

well tomorrow is a bbq and pool party at court's (much like the old days) hopefully that'll be a fun night (i'm sure it will)

xoxo

J