MaRcH mAdNeSs....

Well, i feel like this is going to start the way all my posts do...life has been crazy! But i'm enjoying every minute of it.

1. first off, i was assigned my school district for next year, and i will be teaching in the distant land of Provo, UT....haha i was actually excited to be assigned to stay in provo because i'll be close and able to make it back in time for the extra classes i'm going to have to take. My schedule and life are stressing me out, but i know i can do it. i just need to stay focused.

2. This weekend was so much fun! it started on Friday withmy roommate Karen's 20th birthday. Being from Honduras she had never been to the Cheesecake factory and desperately wanted to go. We suprised her friday night and brought her up to Murray so she could go. it was a lot of fun!

Our lovely waiter took this apartment picture for us


Me, Brooke, and Becca

This is my favorite picture of the night. The birthday girl and I!

3. The next day, so Saturday (3/27) we attended, like most of provo, the festival of colors. Its this crazy festival held at the hari krishna temple. basically thousands of people get together and throw tons of colored powder (its actually made from cornstarch) into the air and on each other. it was a lot of fun and we were so colorful

Ok, so this would be Karen and i on the walk to the temple, looking very clean and white


Josh, me, Brooke - this was when we started throwing colors - very fun!


For some reason blogger does not like my pictures and they're not as vivid as they are on my computer, but what can you do...Karen and I


A bunch of us after the huge color cloud that left you mostly brown

Basically this weekend was full of playtime and not much homework time, but it was worth it.

4. Alex (my best friend from home) moved to utah for this next month. i'm so happy she's here before we seperate for the summer. it'll be great to spend some quality time with her!

love from provo,

j

Dear Blog,

Dear blog,

sorry its been 20 days since we've seen each other. i have so much to tell you, but alas it is 12:35 am and i have class tomorrow morning. i promise we will meet soon, possibly tomorrow and i will catch you up on all my fun adventures, mostly from this last weekend.

Love,

J

home.

oh i forgot one thing!

i went home! it was amazing, nothing too exciting, just what i needed, a break from life. i'll just share my favorite memory, its actually one of my favorite life memories now. so my siblings didn't know i was coming home, it was a surprise. so my dad had them all go into our family room while i hid in the kitchen, he then went on to say he knew they were home alone and couldn't believe what they had done. they were very confused and kept saying "what did we do?" he replied "you want me to show you what you did?" he then grabbed me and brought me into the room. it was so funny to just see this look of shock and confusion on their faces. then Marissa screamed and ran for me, followed by Blake and then Shelby. they all were squeezing me so tight and then they started crying, and i started crying. it was incredible.

it was one of those moments in life that doesn't come by often, but you know its special right as its happening, you know its going to stay with you forever. in that moment i'd never felt more loved and missed in my life.

thinking about it now still makes me smile

i love my family :)

insanity.

i realized its been a while since i wrote and figured it was time to change that.

life has been INSANE!

and that's not an exaggeration. I'm going five hundred different ways five hundred miles an hour. I honestly don't know how i'm able to get through the day and get everything done, but somehow i pull through.

the other day i was feeling really down on myself. i was stressed out by all the things i needed to get done and not having enough time to do it and i was just bummed out on my life in general. i wanted to go run and hide and come out in 42 days when it is time for summer. I woke up the next morning and the beautiful sun was shining, my teachers were beyond flexible with all my life stressing, and everything is just seeming to fall into place. it amazes me how mindful the Lord is of me. i know he is allowing me to be pushed and tested, but at the moment of my weakness he's right there to catch me and make sure that i make it through all right. i'm so grateful to have the knowledge i do, that i know i have a loving Heavenly Father who allows me to be pushed so i can grow, but who is always there to catch me when i fall.

other wonderful moments of my week:
- i got a 3 1/2 page hand written letter from my friend Justin whose on a mission and it made me smile. i've loved watching him grow throughout this last year and a half and cannot believe he's coming home in six short months.
- i was able to talk to john dana for over an hour, he always makes me happy
- this hasn't happened yet, but tomorrow is my first official day in the classroom teaching, don't tell, but i'm terrified...but excited. it should be good :)
- i almost finished my quote journal, if you know me you know i LOVE quotes, i collect them like no body's business and put them in journals that i keep and read when i'm sad or happy or whatever, i love finding ways to say the things i am thinking when i can't even seem to find the words
- i love text messages and facebook posts from friends that just remind you how much they love you
- most importantly, i've been having lessons in learning about my own personal worth. lately i've been having issues with not feeling good enough and i've noticed when i'm having these tough times i'm blessed with so many differed answers and reaffirmations of my own personal worth.


random side note: i CANNOT believe i'm almost half way through college...how did that happen?

2-24-10

Well, its been a couple weeks since i wrote my life lesson blog and i figured it was time to prove i'm doing just fine :) Sure its been hard, and i do have my good and bad days, but moving on and learning from the experience has been refreshing.

life has been crazy busy like usual, i've been throwing myself into school and art which has been good for my soul.

most important: i'm currently sitting in the salt lake city airport cause get this, I'M ON MY WAY HOME! when everything happened a couple weeks ago my momma asked me if i wanted to come home and i said of course! i was going to go home that weekend, but things didn't work out as nicely as they did if i went this weekend. so here i am sitting and waiting and more than overjoyed that i get to see my mommy and daddy in a couple hours. my siblings don't know i'm coming home either so its going to be fun to suprise them :)
i adore my family so much. they are the greatest. i mean they let me escape when i have a life crisis, granted i'm over said crisis cause i've realized i deserve so much better and i will get it one day, but they let me come home anyway!

Things i'm looking forward to:
1. hugs from mom and dad and dude (aka. Blake)
2. playing games with my family
3. being back in danville, i swear it is my favorite place in the entire world
4. resting from life
5. sleeping in my own bed again
6. everything else i can't think of :)

oh so good news, while i'm home i'm meeting this woman who i might nanny for this summer. she has already offered me a great job because she has heard about me from other people and knows my mom, but i would watch her two girls ages 4 and 6 all summer for 40 hours a week and be paid nicely. i'm really excited to meet her and her kids and i'm hoping this will all work out because it would truly be a blessing for me to find a job making the kind of money i need to make for school next year.

time to board!

j

life lesson.

I learned a lesson today.

In life you'll experience heartbreak. People will not treat you the way you deserve, they'll lead you on and hurt your heart, but you know what, life goes on. If you're lucky, like me, you have wonderful friends who love you, and tell you how wonderful you are and how stupid that boy is, and be willing to go kick his butt. Heavenly Father is truly mindful of me through my trials, and i'm so thankful for that knowledges and for music that says the things i'm thinking.
current song on repeat: First Time For Everything, it says a lot of the things i've been thinking
I love music, it says the words i cannot.

I'm standing in the place we met
Heart shakes, and then I sweat
It's so hard to see that it's all over

What did I do to make this end?
And could I really be your friend?
I can barely just pretend it's over

I'm standing in the place we first kissed
There's so much I miss
This I can't resist cause I'm all over
Where we took our first photograph,
And where I first held your hand and laughed
Awkward moments like that have passed, it's over

(bridge)
You're fine and I believe it
I'm something you never needed
I can't say the same for you

(chorus)
But there's a first time for everything
And I'll fall in love again
When I begin my second time around
It's the last time I'll think of you
You can do what you'd like to do
But if you only knew I'm never coming back

I'm standing in the place we first said goodbye
I don't know why, I so relied on you for my smile
I laid happiness in your hands
And I don't really understand
The cost was more than I could stand
It was miles wide

Love from Provo,

J

ugh.

maybe its the winter but i'm:
stressed out. drained. tired. on an emotional roller coaster with too many highs and lows. confused. frustrated. missing my family. but not wanting to change a single moment.
life is insane right now, trying to get everything done while still trying to "have fun and not over think my life" is quite a difficult task.
to sum up: college is hard.
but i'm blessed and i know it.
and i can draw to de-stress, no worries we'll pull through